17 November 2009

Well, I don't even know where to begin. I think that this has been the weirdest two weeks ever. The weekend after Halloween, Bucky and Vampire came to visit. Both of them were pre-warned about the current situation and of course E confronted at least Bucky (and then tried to hit on Vampire...my ex/one of my best friends). Well apparently not only have I tried to have sex with J, but I've actually succeeded in hooking up with him, that's a laugh. I told him this and his response was, "Well, was it good?" me: "Well since I talked about it, it must've been good." But anyway, I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. I'm aware that M hates me, that T just won't associate with me unless weed is involved and E is civil but not friends. C might not trust me right now because of what T told him, but I did talk to him and I did apologize and he accepted the apology and I guess we're on good terms now BUT apparently he wants to perform a psychological experiment on me which I totally don't approve of so now I'm completely confused and really don't know what to think bleh :(
On another, even less happy note, my JPo panel didn't go too well. Why? Well it has something to do with me lacking the capability to memorize poems. I've never been able to, NEVER. I don't know why, and it's not like I haven't tried but it just won't work at all and it sucks, because I did want to but I guess with so much other information in my head, stuff that doesn't really need to be there I guess and stuff that isn't organized at all, it's just hard to stick things in there on purpose and it really isn't fair. It probably has something to do with my chemotherapy treatment as a kid, my loss of hearing, the possibility of having ADD etc. But on top of that, they thought I was "temporarily phlegmatic" = void of showing emotions. And really, it isn't temporary, I just don't show emotions unless I'm extremely sad or distraught. Nonetheless, I at least did not fail, which is good. But I hate poetry even more now and cannot wait to be done with it so I'm gonna tough it out.
On an earlier note, I just showed V, C's status about doing a psych experiment on me and she suggested that he's just trying to see how much I care and how many people I ask about it etc which is brilliant so I'm not going to talk to anyone else about it unless they bring it up and then I'll be like yea so what? Stupid people.
BUT there's this guy back home, only a few hours south (okay...kinda more like 9 hours south as in San Diego area) but he's a sweetheart and I can't wait to go see him again during Christmas break